


I'll Always Be Here For You

by kuraleap52



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020) RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hospitalization, Hurt TK Strand, M/M, Major Character Injury, Overdose, Relapsing, Worried Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:02:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29691282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuraleap52/pseuds/kuraleap52
Summary: These last few weeks have been super  stressful for him. Between Tim's death, the wildfires, his dad's helicopter crash, arguing with Carlos about his thing with his parents, him becoming a full time EMT, and now his dad’s surgery going wrong, he is hanging on by a thread. And that thread is about to snap. He hops in his car and just drives. He doesn't know where he's driving, only that he needs to get far away from the hospital, at least for now. He will obviously back, but for now he needs to be away from there. Hospitals just aren't a great place for him. He pulls into a gas station and just takes a few moments to breath, steady himself. It only makes him slightly less unhinged. But what he is thinking about makes him the most unhinged he's been in a year. He contemplates buying pills.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	I'll Always Be Here For You

**Author's Note:**

> *This fic contains the relapse and overdose of TK Strand, so please be aware!*  
> I read something like this on twitter and decided to turn it into a fic: creds to @/halsteadmarchs and @/buckleyofthe118 !!! <<333

TK wakes up officially for the first time in his new home. He turns on his right side, searching for Carlos' strong arms, but he's only met with the cold blanket and an indent of where Carlos had just been laying. He sits up, confused as to where Carlos would be. He checks the clock next to their bed and it confirms his confusion, as Carlos' shift doesn't start for another three hours.

"Carlos?" TK calls to the open bedroom door.

"Hey, Ty I'm making breakfast I'll bring it up in a few minutes!" Carlos tells him. TK playfully rolls his eyes, knowing this was just one of many surprises Carlos had told him he'd had planned for today. 

It's a big day for TK. It's his one year of sobriety anniversary and his dad's surgery day. TK is a little disappointed his dad isn't going to be around to celebrate with him, but he has Carlos for that and his dad's health is the main priority. 

He's nearly done with the whole cancer nightmare, but he doesn't want to jinx anything by saying that he's basically cancer free. Because he isn't - not yet. 

"Hey, babe. I made your favorite," Carlos is beaming walking into the room with a tray and steamy food. On the tray is TK's favorite - bacon, eggs, and toast. He likes it simple and greasy. There's also some coffee and a card with TK's name on it.

TK can't help an excited giggle as Carlos places the tray on his lap. He looks down at the food in awe. Cooked to perfection. TK looks back up at Carlos' still smiling face. He gives his boyfriend his _'you really didn't have to do this for me'_ look, which consists of a lot of appreciation, a bit of guilt, and the biggest heart eyes.

"Thank you, baby," TK thanks Carlos, patting on the bed for Carlos to come and sit next to him. Carlos sits and is greeted by TK's lips meeting his for a sweet - well, salty because of the eggs and bacon - kiss. TK looks into his eyes with all the love in the world before turning back away to continue eating his delicious breakfast.

"So, do you want to talk about today?" Carlos politely asks his boyfriend.

TK swallows the last of his eggs before responding to Carlos. "I'm relieved, 'Los. I really am," he smiles and Carlos returns it, but they both know that's not the whole truth. TK's smile fades quickly. "But there's always the possibility something could go wrong with the surgery, or the cancer could come back, or-" Carlos cuts him off by placing his hand on TK's chin, tilting it slightly so that they were looking each other in the eyes. 

Just by looking into Carlos' dark brown eyes TK feels more relaxed. He lets out a deep breath he didn't know he was holding. 

"Your dad is, after you, the second strongest person I know. He's going to do just fine, Ty," Carlos reassures him, his hand that was on TK's face now on TK's hand, rubbing soothing circles into it. TK had confessed to him awhile ago it was really calming so he's been doing it ever since whenever TK gets stressed or anxious. TK nods with some uncertainty, taking another deep breath. 

"You're right, you're right," TK says softly before breaking his eye contact with Carlos and going back to eating his breakfast. Carlos, satisfied with his conversation with TK, got up out of bed. 

"I'll leave you to your precious bacon," Carlos giggles. "Meet me downstairs to watch Days of Our Lives?"

"You bet, old man," TK gives him a smug look. He's constantly teasing Carlos for liking the never ending show, but has actually grown a fondness for the show himself. Carlos lets out a laugh and leaves their room. TK feels relieved to have let out his feelings, but he’s still feeling nervous about the whole thing.

The couple spends their next couple hours catching up on Days of Our Lives before Carlos eventually gets ready to go to work and TK gets ready to meet his mom and dad at the hospital. Tommy was understanding enough to give TK the day off, knowing how important this day was.

Carlos and TK walk down their stairs together and walk out the door. They both instinctively turn towards each other to give a goodbye kiss to the other.

"I'll see you later, babe. He's going to be fine, okay?" Carlos tells him with a comforting smile. TK nods, returning his smile. 

"Bye, I love you."

"Love you."

The two hop into their cars and are off to their destinations.

TK parks his car and strolls into the hospital, fidgeting his fingers already. He meets his mom, who is waiting in the waiting room, looking just as nervous as himself. Her eyes light up with relief when she sees him. She lifts from her seat and greets him.

"Hi, honey. Would you like to see him before they start to prepare him?" She asks him. 

"Yes please," he politely answers. She leads the way as they walk down a long hallway to find Owen's room. They take a couple turns and they arrive. Owen's laying there with a smile talking with the woman putting his IV in. He smiles as he meets Gwyneth and TK’s eyes. Gwyneth, who had already spent plenty of time with Owen earlier, stays outside the room to give them some father-son time. 

"Thank you, Marie," Owen says to the lady as she finishes off putting his IV in and leaves the room. There's an awkward silence in the room for a few moments. "Son, look at me," Owen tells his son, who's eyes had been scanning the floor. TK hesitantly raises his eyes to meet his father's reassuring one's. 

TK doesn't even know why he's so hesitant to talk to his dad. It's not like he's lying there dying. But he can't help but think about all the possibilities. His thoughts going a million miles a minute and on the verge of overflowing. Instead of wanting to face this and control it, TK continues to suffer silently. 

"TK, I'm going to be okay. I'm invincible, remember? You don't have to worry about me," Owen tells his son, who's face doesn't really change.

"Yeah, everyone's telling me that," TK whispers, but Owen hears.

"They're right," Owen says, his eyes scanning his stressed out son. "Come here, son," he commands and TK rises to his feet, slowly approaching his dad. His eyes meet his dad's and his dad takes his hand and squeezes it. "I'm going to be okay," Owen says so that TK will really believe him. And he does. 

Looking at his dad, remembering how strong he's been throughout the entire cancer ordeal and in other dangerous situations everyday, how could he not believe anything other than his dad making it through this surgery. He is the strongest person TK knows. He’s got this.

"I believe you, dad," TK says with a small, genuine smile before stepping back and waving goodbye.

"See you in a few hours," Owen waves back. 

TK sighs leaving the room and knowing the hard part is ahead of him: waiting

An hour passes before a doctor comes out to address Gwyn and TK. But TK knows that can't be good. These surgeries are not supposed to last only an hour.

"Family of Owen Strand?" He calls out to the people in the waiting room. TK and Gwyn are up immediately. He gives them a small and sympathetic smile before approaching them. He looks down at the floor, sighing. "There's been a setback with the surgery. Uh.. there has been severe internal bleeding that we are still working to stop. We've slowed it down a bit with a blood transfusion, but at this point we're just doing everything we can," the doctor explains, talking quickly so he can get back in to help with Owen's condition. 

Gwyneth and TK stand in shock. This can’t be happening. Owen was going to finally get rid of cancer. He was going to officially beat it.

"I'm afraid I must get back to the OR, but I'll be back in a bit to give you an update," he assures them before turning away and walking back into the hallway he came from. Gwyneth collapses back down into her seat, her hand on her chest and eyes welling with tears. But TK puts his hands on his head and begins to slowly walk back in forth, starting to pace in front of his seat.

"TK, honey, sit down please. Do you want to talk abo-" Gwyneth reaches her hand out to grab her son's, but he just jerks back and faces her, his face already beat red and tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

"No, mom, I will not sit down and I do not want to talk about how dad could _die_ soon and there's nothing we can do about it," he begins his pacing again, but can't resist the urge to let everything pour out of his in screams. "I can't sit here and feel hopeless! He's _dying!_ " Tears fall down his rose cheeks as he starts getting stares from others in the waiting room. But he can't care less about there starting. All he wants is for his dad to be okay.

Gwyneth doesn't have any words, simply heartbroken at her son's words. He continues to pace before feeling the need to get some fresh air. He feels his breathing tighten in his chest and walks straight out of the hospital, ignoring his mother calling after him.

He needs to get away. To feel numb. This is all just so overwhelming and he can't handle it. These last few weeks have been _super_ stressful for him. Between Tim's death, the wildfires, his dad's helicopter crash, arguing with Carlos about his thing with his parents, him becoming a full time EMT, and now this, he is hanging on by a thread. And that thread is about to snap. He hops in his car and just drives. He doesn't know where he's driving, only that he needs to get far away from the hospital, at least for now. He will obviously back, but for now he needs to be away from there. Hospitals just aren't a great place for him. He pulls into a gas station and just takes a few moments to breath, steady himself. It only makes him slightly less unhinged. But what he is thinking about makes him the most unhinged he's been in a year. He contemplates buying pills. He thinks about how it would be _so_ bad of him to relapse on his one year sobriety anniversary, but then again he needs to feel at least halfway numb. He won’t overdue it, but he needs some in his system.

That's when he realizes Carlos has Oxycodone at their condo from injuring his shoulder recently on the job. And Carlos is of course working a shift, so it's the perfect time to do it. He'll just pop them, feel numb, and then drive back to the hospital. 

He just needs to blow off steam, that was all, he tells himself. In the back of his mind he knows it is a very, very stupid idea, but he is desperate. He shakes his head at himself and sighs before pulling out of the gas station parking lot and beginning the drive back to his condo.

He pulls into the driveway and quickly heads in. He wants to get this over as quick as possible before he can think about all the consequences and how others would feel. He unlocks the door and immediately runs up the stairs and into their bedroom. He walks into the bathroom and searches each drawer until he locates the Oxycodone. He undoes the cap and with no hesitation swallows a few.

He gives the pills a few minutes to work, to numb him down, and it works, but not enough as he'd like. Frustrated, TK walks back into the bathroom. He unscrews the cap once more and thinks about how many he'd need to really numb him down. 

"Fuck it," he whispers before making a big mistake. In proportions, he takes the rest of Carlos' nearly full bottle of Oxycodone. 

He starts to breathe heavily, questioning his choices. He's not going to be able to drive back to the hospital now. 

He sits on his bed with his head in his hands when it starts to feel really, really heavy. He feels sudden waves of nausea, difficulty breathing, and the biggest headache of his life. He starts to really freak out now, knowing this is exactly how he felt a year ago.

"No, no, no. This wasn't supposed to happen," he whispers to himself, unable to speak loudly even if he wanted to. He doesn't even realize he's crying until a droplet lands on his shaky hands. His whole body is shaking and it's only getting worse. He knows that this will eventually lead to convulsion. He knows he's full on sobbing now, and his breathing has just become gasps of air. He's hyperventilating now, and everything just becomes too much. He tries to stand up to go to the bathroom and throw up all the pills, but his legs immediately give out from under him and he ends up on the carpet beside their bed. He uses all his strength to try an reach his arm up and get his fingers into his mouth to touch his uvula. He drops his hand and tells himself to breathe before trying again. It doesn't work and he drops his arm to his side, admitting defeat. He lies there on his back with tears still streaming down his face. He tries to calm himself down, tell himself to keep his eyes open. But that only lasts a few seconds before the heaviness in his eyes takes over and everything goes black.

When three of Gwyn's phone calls to TK go to voicemail, she knows somethings wrong. No matter how upset he is he'd never leave his phone. Not when Gwyn could call him at anytime to give him an update on Owen. And she does have an update on him.

Owen is going to be fine. They managed to stop the internal bleeding enough with another blood transfusion and he was stable enough for them to continue the surgery.

"TK, honey, your dad's going to be fine! Please come back to the hospital now," Gwyn leaves yet another voicemail, sighing with the pit feeling in her stomach that something bad has happened. Her mind starts to wander. Should she go look for him? No, she should stay here with Owen. She feels kind of guilty doing this knowing Carlos is on shift and this could all just be in her head, but she searches for Carlos' name in her contacts and calls him anyways. It takes him three rings, but he picks up.

"Mrs. Morgan? Is everything okay with the surgery?" Carlos' voice is laced in concern.

"No, well, there was a complication, but that's been taken care of," she explains. Carlos is silent for a couple moments.

"That's uh- so Owen's okay then?" Carlos questions, pretty confused. He figured by the way her voice is shaky and panicky that something bad had happened with Owen.

"Yeah, Owen's going to be okay. It's TK I'm more worried about," she tells him, her voice getting even more shaky talking about it. Carlos' breath hitches.

"I knew I should've been there for him today. He was really worried this morning that something was going to happen with the surgery. I'm going to request permission to leave right away. I could be at the hospital in-"

"Carlos, TK's not here," she interrupts her son's worried boyfriend. He's silent for a few seconds.

"Do you know where he is?" 

"I don't. I've tried calling him several times, but he hasn't picked up." She can practically feel the anxiety radiating off of Carlos.

"I'll check our condo. Keep me updated," Carlos tells her.

"Will do, thank you, Carlos," she thanks him before hanging up.

With him being a cop himself, you'd think Carlos would stay under the speed limit while driving. Most of the time he did of course, but not while driving to his condo to search for his missing boyfriend.

He eventually reaches his condo and finds that the door is already unlocked. He knows it's probably TK, but just for precaution he enters his home slowly. He sees that the living room and kitchen are empty, so he figures whoever is in the condo is upstairs. 

He quietly makes his way up the stairs and, while still standing behind the doorframe, he peaks in and sees no one in his line of sight. He steps in the room with caution and spots a figure lying on the ground next to his bed.

But this is no ordinary figure, it's his boyfriend.

He quickly makes his way over to TK and drops to his knees.

"TK!" He yells, shaking his boyfriend's shoulders. He gets no response. He's full on panicking now. 

He tells himself to get his head straight in order to get him the help he needs. He turns TK on his side to prevent choking on vomit. He checks his breathing: shallow. He then dials 911.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"Grace, it's Carlos. I just got home and found TK on the ground. He's unresponsive. I believe he's overdosed," Carlos' voice is shaky, but firm. Grace's breath gets caught in her throat.

"Oh my god, okay do you know what he's overdosed on?" Grace asks, her own voice a bit panicky. She's of course most of the time calm, but she can't help the concern in her voice for the boy she's grown pretty close with.

Carlos jumps to his feet and looks on the desk next to the bed, finding nothing there. Next place he looks is the bathroom, where on the sink is an empty bottle of Oxycodone. 

"Shit!" He cries out, knowing this was his bottle and that it was pretty much full, as he didn't need to take many. He runs back over to TK and his phone. "Oxycodone," he tells Grace. His heart is beating a million miles a minute and he's begun to sweat, the overwhelmingness of the situation overcoming him.

Grace takes a deep breath. "Alright, Carlos I'm sure you already know this, but all you can do is stay with him until the paramedics get there, which is in two minutes." Carlos closes his eyes for a second as if that was going to make his problems go away.

"Right," he croaks, his voice cracking at the heartbreaking situation. "TK, baby, please. I'm right here. Everything is going to be okay, okay? You're going to be just fine, Tyler Kennedy Strand," Carlos is gripping TK's arms maybe a little too hard. A tear slides down his cheek and onto TK's barely moving chest. It's so unnatural for the always moving TK to be so pale and unmoving. Reminds him of the only other time he's seen TK like that - when he was shot.

"Austin fire and rescue!" Carlos here's a call from downstairs. He quickly rises to his feet and sprints down the stairs to open the door.

"He's upstairs - first room on your left," Carlos explains in a hurry, backing away so they can do their job. Tommy is the first person he sees and she's up the stairs in a heartbeat, face a combination of worry and determination. 

He's right behind the last paramedic heading up the stairs. When he enters his room captain Vega has already checked his vitals and has begun talking to her the other paramedics about what they should do.

They come to the conclusion that TK's condition should be taken to the hospital to get the substances out of his system and his breathing in check. 

Carlos watches as his unconscious boyfriend is brought down the stairs and then into the back of an ambulance in a matter of minutes. Although he does stuff similar to this all the time, he feels as though time is in slow motion. 

"Hey, TK, I'm right here. You're okay," Carlos quickly tells his boyfriend, walking with him and the other paramedics as they approach the ambulance.

Not wanting to get in their way, Carlos takes his own car to the hospital, riding the ambulances tail for pretty much most of the ride there.

Carlos sits next to Gwyn, hardly saying any words. Gwyn tried to start a conversation with him earlier, but he really wasn't in the mood to talk. The 126 becomes aware of the situation and one by one shows up at the hospital to show their support just like they had when TK was shot. Carlos appreciates it, but all he really wants to be with right now is TK. He wants - no, _needs_ \- to have a conversation with him. But first and foremost, he needs TK to be okay. 

This time of TK being in the hospital might hurt more than last time for a couple reasons. One, they're a couple now and they weren't the last time. And second, he blames himself for this one. If he had just been there for TK - taken the day off, none of this would have happened. TK wouldn't have spiraled and nearly killed himself with _Carlos'_ Oxycodone.

Gwyn can tell Carlos' mind is overworking itself, so she puts her hand on his arm in a sign of comfort. He turns and gives her a meek smile before going back to overthinking. 

It's about an hour before a nurse comes to address them.

"Family of Tyler Strand?" Gwyneth, Carlos, and the rest of the 126 rise. Her eyes widen slightly at the sight of everyone, but she shakes it off and turns to face Gwyneth. "We believe he's gotten most of the substance out of his body, but his breathing isn't where we'd like it too be. We're going to keep him overnight and reevaluate tomorrow morning," she tells them, her lips pressed into a thin line.

"Can we see him," Gwyneth asks, just above a whisper. The nurse gives her a small smile before answering.

"You may, but please be aware it's two visitors max."

Carlos and Gwyn look around at the other members of the 126, who motion for them to be the first ones to see him. They look at each other with a slightly nervous glance before getting up and following the nurse to TK's room.

The arrive and are baffled by TK's still pretty pale face. His whole face has swelled up and he just looks clammy. He of course has a nasal cannula to provide him with extra oxygen. The both of them enter the room and TK's eyes light up, relieved to see two of his favorite people.

It's his mom who is first to approach him, tears in her eyes and a trembling bottom lip.

"You scared me bad today, TK," she tells him, those tears in her eyes making their way down her cheeks. He grabs her hand and gives her a reassuring smile. His eyes are guilty and sad, but he tries to put on a brave face for his mom.

"I'm sorry, mom," he apologizes in a whisper, his voice unsteady. She looks into his eyes for a couple sentences before backing away and letting Carlos approach him.

Carlos, who hasn't laid his eyes off of TK since the moment they walked in the door, walks toward his boyfriend, his own tears forming in his eyes. How could he not feel heartbroken looking at TK in this fragile state. It's so _so_ hard for him, but he's stays strong.

"You scared me too today, you know that?" Carlos' voice is harsher than he planned on it being and his face softens at TK's sad nod. "I thought I was going to lose you, baby," Carlos whispers now, a single tear slowly rolling down his cheek. TK looks so guilty lying there. He hates that he caused this much pain to his loved ones. At least his dad wasn't an eye witness to the scene this time.

"I didn't mean to, 'Los. You gotta believe me," TK pleads, his voice still unsteady.

"I know, Ty. I know," his hand is gripping TK's now, squeezing it hard just like he'd been doing a couple hours earlier. This time though, TK gives him an assuring squeeze back.

There's a few moments of the couple just staring with the utmost compassion at each other before TK begins to talk again.

"I'm so sorry," he cries, tears streaming down his face now. Carlos leans in to wipe them away, his hand brushing TK's cheek for comfort.

"It's okay, mi amor (my love)."

Carlos and Gwyn remain in TK's room for a little while longer before giving Marjan and Mateo some time with him. Despite every fiber in Carlos' being telling him to stay with TK for the rest of his time in the hospital, he already abruptly left work today and he can't miss more tomorrow.

"I'll be here first thing in the morning and update you on his condition," Gwyn pats Carlos' arm as they walk into the hospital parking lot together.

"Thank you so much, Mrs. Morgan," Carlos smiles at her, which she returns. They say their goodbyes and walk to their separate cars.

It's nighttime when Carlos' shift finally ends. Gwyn had texted him earlier in the day saying TK was discharged and she was bringing him over to their condo, to which Carlos let out a big breath of relief and a smile. It was that text that had both made his shift longer, but also gave him motivation to get through his shift.

He drives the normal speed limit this time to get to his condo; although it is tempting to him to drive faster to get home faster to TK. 

He walks into his home and there TK is, lying on the couch as if this was just another day. Carlos is by his side in a second, wrapping his strong arms around TK. TK let's out a breath of relief, melting in the arms of his loving boyfriend. 

"Welcome home, babe," Carlos whispers against his chest. TK laughs.

"I've been gone a night."

"Longest night of my life," Carlos rebuttals. TK's face shows guilt on it once again and Carlos sighs, knowing he might've gone a little too far.

Carlos gets up off his knees and sits on the seat across from TK. TK slowly sits up and faces his concerned boyfriend. 

"Walk me through what happened." TK looks down, ashamed and concentrated on thinking. He never liked confrontations like this.

"I was told my dad was experiencing complications with his surgery and he was on the fence of life or death. A-and everything that's been building up for weeks - Tim's death, the helicopter accident, my new job - broke me. I couldn't handle the overwhelming feeling and so... I thought of the Oxy's you had." Carlos winced at that, guilt rising in his face. TK notices and takes his hands. "I was so stupid. I only planned on taking a few, but it didn't work as well as I wanted and I-I just downed the whole bottle," his voice cracks at the end of that. He clears his throat to settle his nerves down. "I remember feeling this deep regret. I panicked, 'Los. I forgot everything until it was already too late. I tried trying to make myself throw up, b-but I was too weak. And I don't remember anything after that until- well I remember a little bit of being in the ambulance. And you can guess the rest," he finishes, looking down at his hands intertwined with Carlos'. Carlos had begun to trace the soothing circular patterns and it really helped him. 

Carlos feels a bit better and a bit worse after hearing the whole story. It takes him a moment to process. He too looks down at his and his boyfriends hands pressed together.

"TK, you know you can always talk to me, right? That's what boyfriends are for. I _want_ to hear about your struggles and anxiety so I can help you through it. I never want you to feel like I'm not going to be here for you. Because I'll _always_ be here for you," Carlos' eyes search a reaction in TK's. He sees relief in TK's eyes and his shoulders sag. Carlos cups his hand in TK's cheek and leans in to give him a soft and sweet kiss. TK looks much happier after that.

"I know you're always here for me, Carlos. I just didn't want to be too much of a burden.." TK's voice trails off.

"Never," Carlos simply says. TK looks back up at Carlos and sees how serious he is about this. It makes TK so, so appreciative to have Carlos. Instead of a response, TK leans in to hug Carlos, their embrace intense and full of love and angst. They stay like that for awhile before agreeing it'd be much more comfortable to just cuddle on their bed upstairs. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ah I hope you all enjoyed! Just an FYI I am in no way a medical expert, so I had to rely on lot's an lot's of research regarding Owen's surgery and TK's overdose. I'm so sorry if I messed anything up because I'm sure I did. I so would’ve added in the part where Carlos blames himself for TK’s od because of their relationship moving too fast, but for the sake of the fic i sadly couldn’t :(. Thanks so much for reading and kudos and criticism are appreciated :)))


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